Love. Passion. Dream. ◕‿◕

Hello.. I know I have not been updating my blog for a really long time and I'm sorry =P

Hmm.. I don't really talk about it to anyone yet, except for my boyfriend. But.... I finally have a dream. LOL! I finally have something that I would want to gain in life. Every time, when my friends tell me about their passion, dreams and goals in life, I would be so awkward because I have none. I have been lost and wondering around for quite some time, thinking what is my direction in life? Who/where do I see myself in the near future? I felt so useless, dream-less and that my life would be so pathetic. #NotAnymore LOL

Despite of being full time committed to work, it finally come to my senses that I should find time to do something that I'm passionate about. Everyone has their desired dream that they would want to fulfil it and achieved it one day. You might not realise it not, but trust me, sooner or later, you will! It can be so big that people would even laugh and make fun of you, but again, how eager and how bad do you want to achieve it? Set your goals straight and ignore the rest that would drag down your confident level. I did not know that I want it that much to the point that I finally realise that I would spend time on it no matter how busy and hectic my life would be. My passion was not clear at first but it turn out to be something that I really love right now and slowly, it has become part of my dreams to be part of the family too. I know it is not going to be easy and I do not know what is the success rate. But, that is not going to be the reason for me to not try and to give up on it. I mean, we are all gonna need to start it from scratch for anything and everything, isn't it? So yea, I'm gonna make it possible for myself. This gonna be one of my 2016 resolution. If you have a dream, just go for it. If you don't start at some point, how are you going to reach that goal of yours? To have a dream but not do anything about it is pointless. Don't waste it. Make the impossible, possible! 

Anyway... curious on what love, passion and dream I'm talking about? Well, let it be a surprise! You will found out...soon =P

When despair hits ◕︵◕

Love. 爱. It can be a really strong word for courage and it can also be a word for a destruction of a person heart. Ok, "destruction" as a word could be a lil' exaggerate but that's what I sometime feel deep inside of me.  Maybe I should expect less, much much much less. With that, I wouldn't feel as discourage and disappointed as now. Seriously, I really don't get it. I clearly knows that I have a very sensitive heart. Heck, majority girls are sensitive. That's how we show how much we love and care about a particular person. I thought with what we've been through, you would know me better. But... no. You really disappoint me in many ways. I was wandering how much space in your heart that actually belongs to me? Is it too much to expect you to be a lil' bit more self conscious of what I truly feel in certain condition in our daily life? What are you trying to hide from? I'm tired of hiding and how it hiding feels. Don't ever say that you're not hiding from anything, because from the way I see it, there's still part of you that trying to hide. Why can't we talk normally in public like how we used to talk to each other. I don't expect you to exaggerate it, I just want to have a normal conversation with you no matter where we are. See.. expectation.. it kills! 

Sigh. Clearly, you still don't understand me, don't understand what I want and what I expect us to be like. You don't care about how I feel, isn't it? So what if she is your old friend? So what if you accidentally met her? So what if she treats you? Was it important? Was it necessary for you to tell the world about it? Apparently, you can't even have a normal conversation with me in public view but you can tell the world all that unnecessary things huh? Wow. Friends are more important then lover huh? It's ok. I know where I'm standing now. Please don't promise me anything or even trying to explain it to me as I already know what matters the most to you. It's pointless by the way as I always believe that action speaks louder than words. You know what, starting from now onwards, every feeling of mine will be kept only to myself. Just how you like it as you find that talking about it is a waste of our time. It's ok. I'll just take it as a training. I need to be strong anyway. This heart need to learn to not be too vulnerable when dealing with such emotional issues. *Wipe tears and off to bed* Tomorrow will be better!

Final Chapter ◕‿◕

Semester 7 has finally started. Final semester yo! Attended the first week and it's already hectic. 3 months, just 3 more months. Then, that's the end of my uni life. Glad? Sort off. Sad? Maybe. BUT.. I'm sure of 1 thing, which is I'm exhausted now. Class started as soon as internship ended. I dun even have a day to rest. Class project and assignments came rushing in. Yea, I know that I once stated that I miss it. I do! I really do but at least give me a week of break before starting the hectic life please? Everything is so stressful now. I'm suffocating. Not to forget about my internship report that is still hanging right now and I have 1 more week before the submission date. Why do I feel that my final semester is not going to be lighter than my previous semester? Hmm.. maybe it is a lil' lighter. It's just that everything came in too rush at the same time. I need some time to digest and coping back with it. Now, I can't even wait for my mid-semester break, exactly the week before the launching event with The Strands Mall. Yeap, that's our class project for our final semester! Sigh. I need a gateway. A short vacation or anything will do. I'll be fine as long as I'm away with all of this for a moment and I get to spend time with someone special that is close to my heart. That is all I'm asking for. Life.. hectic as ever. Oh well! No matter what, I still need to face it. Still have to go through with it no matter I like it or not. Hmmm… I've survived all the previous semester and I'll definitely make sure that this semester is not going to be excluded! ok! back to work, shall we? *cheers*

"Sometimes God place roadblocks in our way that we do not want to deal with, but we need to stay strong, find a new path and continue on this journey"

"Don't just stand there and stare, get up and do something about your dreams. Make the best out of everything. Never give up!"

Hang in There ◕‿◕

I need to be distracted for a while as I only had 2 hours of sleep yesterday night and I'm so freaking sleepy right now. Hence, I'm gonna update my blog. 31st March 2014 is my last day of internship then I'm back to Taylors. Gosh, I miss study life so much right now. I even miss doing assignments even though it can be very stressful sometimes. I miss all our bffs, classmates and coursemates. Trust me when I said that I'm gonna appreciate my final semester in Taylors once I'm done with my internship. Heck, I already missed my first week of my final semester. oh well. No one going for the first week also. lol

So many things happened recently. The status is getting bad. Ok, maybe I sucks in time management. I still failed to allocate my time so certain people that's important in my life. I didn't mean to make anyone feels abandoned or what-so-ever. I even abandoned my social life. I got no life in the past 3 months as well. I even missed my family outings. Sigh. Just let me get my internship over with and I'll be getting back my social life and time. I still know what's my priorities. So, bear with me please. Few more days to go.

I miss everyone! ='(

Uni life is still the best. Cant wait to be back.

Photo session during our video shoot for assignment

What we always do during class. Camwhore! oh how I miss Racky and Leverne so much now. Faster come back from UK laaa ='(

*Fingers-crossed* ◕‿◕

It has been tough for the past few days. Issue after issue came hitting me. Worst part is before I managed to settle one, another 1 came. Gosh! oh well. I'm glad that it's settled now. I'll just gonna take and look at the positive sides of it. I still believe that things happened for a reason or reasons. After what we gone through, I'm positive that we gonna stay stronger. Managed to talk things out over the weekend. Let's just hope that things will get better. Eventually, I know that it will be better. Mom called yesterday night when I was with him. It was quite late during that time and she got worried why am I not home yet till I told her that I was with him. It's good to know that she doesn't worried much about me when I'm with him. Well, I still have the flow to follow now I guess. A flow that non of us know where it will lead us to. Only 1 thing that I hope for, which is I want everything to go well and things will turn out to be the best not only for me but also for the people that I truly love and cares about. People come and go in life. It's hard to find someone that will stay with you and always be there for you when you need them the most. You might think that they will always be there for u, but in the end they might be the one who hurt you the most. It's just the matter of time for you to be able to see who's in your life that's really cares for you and worth for fighting for. As for now, just enjoy your life to the fullest and screwed those who are not even worth to even be part of your life. *cheers*

"A positive mind will give you a positive life"

"When you focus on positive things, you pushed your mind in a positive direction"

"A positive attitude may not solve every problem, but it makes solving every problem a more pleasant experience"

Confession of an intern ◕︵◕

2 more weeks.. 2 more weeks.. 2 more weeks.. Then I'm back to Taylor's for my final semester. I miss Taylor's, I miss my life as a student. I miss all my friends there. I miss skipping classes. I miss rushing for assignments, I miss all the food there. YES! Even the food that I used to get so sick of it as well. Now, I understand why people been telling me again and again to appreciate my study life as I'm definitely going to miss it. It's true. In working life, you have to deal with all sort of issues no matter you like it or not. The overload stress will never stop haunting you. You don't even have a life when u enter working life. You don't even have time for yourself. How sad is that? Student on the other hand is totally different thing. You will only be busy and stress when you are rushing for assignments deadline and of course during exam. Most of the time, you will still be able to enjoy life and hang out with your friends. Even as an intern, I don't have much time to do my own personal things. I dont have time to even shop! I dont even have time to go back Melaka and accompany my mom there. I used to go back every weekend but now, hmmm once in every 2 to 3 weeks. Everyone that I used to hang out with, starts to complain that I don't have time for them anymore. How to spend time with them, when I don't even have time for myself? So sad. Anywayyyyy… doesnt matter. 2 more weeks! Then back to Taylors, back to gym, back to hula hoop days, and… back start dieting back. Why? Coz I think I've gained weight! and I dun hav time to go to the gym when I'm supposed to work. April 2014 Target; I need to lose a min of 5KG more! I want a smaller waist. I want flatter tummy. I don't want belly fat. I need my determination back. I did it once and I believe that I can definitely do it again! Jia you ba! *Cheers*

Keep calm, stay calm ◕‿◕

It's been a while since I last update my blog. I know that I've been using that statement everytime I update my blog and followed by "I was busy" LOL. I am busy la, okay. So..what to update? Hmm.. Semester 5 ended a month plus a go and I'm pretty satisfied with my result. I was just expecting to just pass my Financial PR paper but I got more than that, which I'm so thankful for. What's more important is that I managed to maintain my CGPA! That late night studying and waking up very early in the morning just to study did paid off! Not to forget the days when I was rushing for assignments deadline. All those sleepless night. phew! Survived for another semester! *yeay*  

*Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil*

*It's hard to beat a person who never gives up*

*Nothing worth having comes easy*

Semester 6 on the other hand is in progress. Internship. sigh. The first company was a total screwed up but we managed to change our internship placement on time still. and yes, Nora and I did went to the same company for our internship, just like how we planned it to be. haha. We have roughly a month more to go before our internship period end. Mom had been complaining A LOT about me not spending much time with her anymore since I start doing my internship. sigh. Its has been 3 weeks I skipped my weekend with her. We used to go shopping and spend time together every weekend. I'm sorry, mummy. I'm coming back this week to spend time with you, okay? I promise *smile* 

"Never forget 3 person in you life - 1. Who helped you in bad situation, 2. Who left you in bad situation, 3. Who put you in bad situation"

"Be thankful for all the difficult people in your life and learn from them as they have shown you exactly who you do not want to be"

"If you keep sending away every person who challenges you, you'll never grow. Some people are in your life to sharpen you"

"Maybe it's not life that sucks. Maybe it's just the people that you let in your life that sucks"

"Worry about the important people in your life, fcuk the one who wastes your time"

5th March 2014. 561 days. A lot of ups and downs. AND I mean really A LOT! until to the extend that I dun even know what else should I do. Don't even know what should I expect anymore. For something that I once believe and want for, slowly fading away. There this person been telling me to just go with the flow. Yea, I guess I should really do that now. I'm still trying though. Still trying to be and to stay positive because of the things that I once believe. I understand that everyone has their very own flaw. No one is perfect but…. I dun even know what to say anymore la coz I know that I'm not perfect also and tht I have flaw. Okay, nevermind. Just forget about it. My relationship has always been so complicated. wtheck la. sigh. Things that I go through for the person I love. Things that I do for the person I love. Things that I'm willing to face for the person I love. Macam yes huh? Memang yes! It takes time, but you can definitely notice it one day, u'll see. 

"Good relationship don't just happen. They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together"

"It's not what I feel for you; its what I don't feel for anyone else but you"

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eyes"