Stay calm and be strong ◕‿◕

Sometimes I wonder, why do I think too much? Like seriously over think. What the caused of this again? to be more conscious? more careful? or is it because of the past experienced? I don't know wthr its healthy to over think or nt. Creating stress and worry out of it. Busy or not, I'll still think. I'm talkative when I'm in a good mood and if I'm not, its either I'm having mood swings or.... unnecessarily thinking about stuff, important stuff to me. Sometimes I just feel like slapping myself for thinking too much, scared the hell out of me! >< *self-slap* A lot of things happened lately. I don't even know how to express it out. Terrible mixed mood! woah O_O Can die of depression weh! Therefore, I realize that I gotta need to overcome this before anything bad happened to me T.T

*Next*

The weirdest thing happened to me yesterday. Still find it so random! and... WEIRD! Over-friendly? or just plain weird? ok, I thank u for giving me and my sis compliment, though my sis still doesnt know about this. Forgot to tell her..LOL! PLUS! we doesnt look like a Taiwanese girl la weh! So, stop assuming that we're from Taiwan =.= And after that, u asked for my contact's number and where I stayed? then even asked for hangout? Like seriously?! I never seen u before wehh!!! and I'm pretty sure that my sis don't even know you. Ok, if u're a guy, then its normal, though I'll still feel uncomfortable. A stranger asking so much about my personal detail. It freaked the hell out of me >< Just because u're one of our customers, I couldnt say more. Just stand there, took ur order, answers ur questions and smile. No matter what, I still need to smile =.=

*moving on*

New sem about to start. 1 week ++ more. And.... I havent even prepare anything yet for the upcoming semester =( Need to buy formal clothes, high heels, and some stationery. The mood of buying stuff isnt there yet. Sigh. 1 month passed quite fast. Need more holidays? errr.. maybe not la. 1 month is fine, too long I'll die of boredom! I heard that our next sem break gonna be 4 months break! Again! Its like one semester d weh. Hmmmm.... Screw that first la, need to survive next semester then only think about what to do during that freaking long break. I guess my shopping time will start in a few more days time. Daddy's coming back for Raya break! woot woot! =D The most important guy in my life! I miss you, daddy! Can't wait for u to come back and spend most of my time with you. Forever my priority =) No matter what, he'll always be there for me and pamper me the most. No matter how old I am, I'll still be his sweet and innocent little girl =) Whereas my mom? Understands me the best. No one will ever know best about me and what I'm thinking rather than my mom =) Yea, I'm not only lucky bt blessed to be their youngest daughter ♥ ♥ ♥ Alrite, I'm done updating for the day. *cheers*

Results? ◕‿◕ Insecure? ◕︵◕

Results out! Finally out. I've been waiting for it since the first week of my sem break. How was it? Seriously, I'm happy with my results. Managed to maintain and improve my cgpa. Thank God for that. Those sleepless nights and being away from the family during my own birthday are all worth it after all. Next semester starts on the 29th of August. Why not just start the new sem after Independent Day instead la? sigh. Anyway, I'm gonna study harder for next sem. Its a promise I made to myself. Its gonna be tough juggling all 7 subjects in a sem but I'm gonna give my best shot at it. Next sem will be busier I guess? Oh well.. Giving out something in order to achieve something. I'm going to make sure that it will definitely be worth it *fingers-crossed*

The feeling of insecurity is what I'm worry about. Yes!! feeling neglected, uncared, unconcerned, unimportant! I shouldnt have feel this way. And everytime, when I finally found a reason to not feel that way, I tend to feel it again a few days later. This is bad! I cannot live my everyday life feeling this way.  What should I do to overcome this? Sigh! This is so pissing me off. Now I wonder, will it have a good ending? a positive ending? like how I wish it would be? At the same, I reli scared of getting my heart broken again. It gonna took me forever to heal it and the process of healing is not easy. Hmm... maybe too much competitors? or maybe I was just thinking too much? Typical me! but its not wrong to over think. Its just make me more conscious. Sigh. How I wish that feelings have an on and off button. "Mutual trust. Loyalty. Honesty." Been trying to keep this with me all the time, hoping that this would help. Well, I don't know. There are million of things running in my mind right now. Doubts, uncertainty, concerns but no answers to all that. Not even one! I failed! I'm such a failure, I know!! For once, just once! Can I have a happy ending? only once, can I? Is that even too much to ask for? I know that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I just wish that I know whats the reason is, without having to wait in order to find it out. And u know what? I don't think that I'm good enough. Maybe I don't deserve it after all? Argg! Just kill me already la! FML! =( All the negatives aura around me are getting stronger. What should I do? What should I do now?! I need consultation, guidance, ways, solutions. #heartache #collapse #sigh

Short post ◕‿◕

Good morning people! =) My sem break is coming to an end? soon! Time passed when u're having fun? HAH! ok la, sort of I guess. LOL! And................! I CAN'T STOP MYSELF TO KEEP ON LOGIN INTO TAYLOR'S STUDENT PORTAL! checking for results >< Ok! I'm scared to know about my finals exam's result but at the same time, I still wanna find out! Taylor's, just release it already, will you? =( The longer I wait, the worrier I get weh. aihhhh.. Some said results will probably be release by this week? So, that gonna make me login into Taylor's portal more often then. LOL! 

*Moving on*

I miss my baobei ='( The feeling that you get when something/someone that you really love is no longer with you. I can't say that I'm fully recover now. 10 years!! Isnt something that can be forgotten just like that. Therefore, I still refuse to get a new puppy. Yea, I love dogs but I still couldn't accept a new 1, replacing him. Not now, not so soon. Time will heal everything, I dunno when but apparently it will. I think I'll stop here. Sorry for the short update. Got nothing more to pour out here. Till the next update then. *cheers*

Leave? Stay? IDK! ◕︵◕

Dilemma! I hate dilemma! Friggin' hate dilemma! Make me so damn stress to even think about it. So, should I go or should I stay? no matter what my decision is, there's still consequences, pros and cons. Its like my heart has been divided into 2. 50% of it asking me to just go! Its an opportunity and experience that I should NOT missed! and another half of it asking me to stay, saying that are u sure you are tough enough to face the world there? being apart frm your family? being apart from...*uknowwho* sigh! Every single time I think about it, I gt headache. I know I think too much, I worry too much, I scare too much but hey! I dun wan to have any regrets, therefore, I consider everything. I need to finalize my decision by the end of semester 3 which is on December this year! Few more months for me to decide. Yea, 1 year might not be that long. Some even say, "1 year only ma. Very fast de la." but still, Im worry that I could not cope myself there. I never actually left my comfort zone. Left hometown, left my parents for uni in KL but I still have my bro with me there. My sis, bro-in-law and even my cousin once live with me there too. So, it can be said that, I never actually left my family. I'm still living in my comfort zone. This time is really different. I have no1 there, well except for my friends, IF they decided to go. Majority of my relatives asking me to go and my mom is like dun want me to go. sigh! How now? I really dunno hw to decide weh. hmmm... maybe I should go la hor? aihhhhh.... Damnit!!! I cant finalize it now. No confident. Too much concern. FML! I guess time will show me wthr I should really go or should I just stay here. I only hope for 1 thing which is, no matter whats my decision in the end, I will not regret for making that choice. *fingers-cross*

A post without pictures and quotes, just words! ◕‿◕

Updating bloggie again. Sem break started about 2 weeks ago, and now only I have the time to update my blog =.= Sorry guys, I've been busy. Been helping my sis right after I finished my finals for 2 weeks. It was ok at first, but then I fell sick. Sucks! I know! it was too freaking cold there. Guess, I couldnt take it. Oh well, its over d as she's back. Finally gt my breaks! Though, I'm still not sure when exactly my new semester starts. O.O Its either the last week of August or... the first week of September. Will figure it out soon la, I hope. hehe. Woke up without an alarm today and... I feels great! I dun even remember when was the last time I woke up without an alarm. Finals and assignments are giving me a serious eyebags and dark circles. I need to get rid of it. Sigh. Anyway, din do anything much today. Just stay at home and be lazy instead. LOL! only fr 1 day la k? After all those tiring weeks, asking for a day to be lazy isnt too much. I deserve it =P Since I got nothing to do today, I started to think about my results weh! D= Kinda worry for that 1 particular subject. Aikss.. pls pls pls, just let me go. Let me pass!! *fingers-crossed* Mom asked a lot about Japan trip today. I'm reli sorry but I got no mood to actually look and compare all the schedule yet. LOL! Only for 1 day, let me do nothing. So, I'll compare tmr then. hehe. It's already passed midnight! =O So, my day to be lazy had jst ended. Gonna wake up early later. Living in a healthy lifestyle. I need to start sweating again. Need to maintain.! Ok, my eyes are getting tired. So, might just head to bed nw. Good nite people, see ya in my next update! *cheers*