Results? ◕‿◕ Insecure? ◕︵◕

Results out! Finally out. I've been waiting for it since the first week of my sem break. How was it? Seriously, I'm happy with my results. Managed to maintain and improve my cgpa. Thank God for that. Those sleepless nights and being away from the family during my own birthday are all worth it after all. Next semester starts on the 29th of August. Why not just start the new sem after Independent Day instead la? sigh. Anyway, I'm gonna study harder for next sem. Its a promise I made to myself. Its gonna be tough juggling all 7 subjects in a sem but I'm gonna give my best shot at it. Next sem will be busier I guess? Oh well.. Giving out something in order to achieve something. I'm going to make sure that it will definitely be worth it *fingers-crossed*

The feeling of insecurity is what I'm worry about. Yes!! feeling neglected, uncared, unconcerned, unimportant! I shouldnt have feel this way. And everytime, when I finally found a reason to not feel that way, I tend to feel it again a few days later. This is bad! I cannot live my everyday life feeling this way.  What should I do to overcome this? Sigh! This is so pissing me off. Now I wonder, will it have a good ending? a positive ending? like how I wish it would be? At the same, I reli scared of getting my heart broken again. It gonna took me forever to heal it and the process of healing is not easy. Hmm... maybe too much competitors? or maybe I was just thinking too much? Typical me! but its not wrong to over think. Its just make me more conscious. Sigh. How I wish that feelings have an on and off button. "Mutual trust. Loyalty. Honesty." Been trying to keep this with me all the time, hoping that this would help. Well, I don't know. There are million of things running in my mind right now. Doubts, uncertainty, concerns but no answers to all that. Not even one! I failed! I'm such a failure, I know!! For once, just once! Can I have a happy ending? only once, can I? Is that even too much to ask for? I know that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I just wish that I know whats the reason is, without having to wait in order to find it out. And u know what? I don't think that I'm good enough. Maybe I don't deserve it after all? Argg! Just kill me already la! FML! =( All the negatives aura around me are getting stronger. What should I do? What should I do now?! I need consultation, guidance, ways, solutions. #heartache #collapse #sigh